back to previous page Owning Oktoberfest: Munich, Germany
Chris Ord looks to steal Oktoberfest from the Germans.
Bierliebhaber vereinen!!* I’m mounting a campaign against the Germans. Organising a ‘coalition of the swilling’ if you will. I’m claiming Oktoberfest for the world. Admittedly, my plan is as culturally insensitive as a Bush fundraising campaign in Mecca, but I’m also hedging on the fact that possession is nine tenths of the law. And if good ‘ole Dubya can storm in and (try to) swipe an entire nation, I reckon I can waltz in on behalf of the world’s beer drinking population and lay claim to the best booze fest going. Appropriating a little international imbibers ownership, so to speak.
Nothing against the Germans of course – they’ve done a fine job brewing the finest beer party there is.
In fact the original Oktoberfest in Munich is one of Germany’s most popular drawcards for travellers and ranks as the world's biggest public festival, attracting over 6 million visitors every year. It’s a beer guzzling (up to 6 million litres), sausage stuffing (over 200,000 pork), tabletop yodelling, debaucherous, lederhosen wearing, hangover inducing event. Like Woodstock in ‘69, you only know you’ve been if you can’t remember jigging with fourteen fraus and wake up in a pile of vomit wearing strange green britches and pantyhose.
It could be wondered what the 11th Century German monks (Munich, or München, means ‘home of the monks’) had in mind as they went about the holy business of fine-tuning their hops, barley and malt mixes, laying the foundations for what are today some of the world’s best brews.
Over the ages, the Germans cultivated their reputation for a fierce loving of the social lubricant, but it wasn’t until October 12, 1810, when crazy crown prince Ludwig of Bavaria married his princess Therese, that the beer drinking orgy really began to bubble. Wedding festivities lasted five days and included parades of riflemen, music, eating and drinking and ended with a horse race in honour of the bride. Over the coming years the race was repeated and Oktoberfest, also called ‘die Wiesn’, was born.
And while Oktoberfest may have its roots buried deep in royal German sauerkraut, it’s mirrored the path of Irish pubs, spreading like a rabid yeast disease around the world to become one of the most prolific celebrations that takes place in nearly every country in the world. Even in Eastern, Latin and Arabic lands, a healthy number of ex-pat Germans and willing supporters ensure the Oktoberfest tradition has a presence somewhere, in some bar, even in the middle of nowhere. Like New Braunfels, Texas or Blumenau, Brazil. Nope, there’s nary a nation in the world that doesn’t drag the Steins out of the good glasses cabinet in October, don the britches and feathered cap and ooom-pah all night long in celebration of…well, most of us wouldn’t know about old Ludwig and his muse, but what hell, it means we get to drink beer out of one litre jugs, what more reason do you need?So while swillers from around the world head to Munich for Oktoberfest, those who’d rather spend their airfare on a few more rounds settle for a homegrown nod to the big’O’: if that’s not an international shindig owned by proxy by the beer loving brigade the world over, it’s my shout.
And while the Oktoberfest Ownership submission sits for consideration with the UN in Geneva (I sent Ban Ki-moon a case of James Boags to sweeten the deal), we as new custodians of Oktoberfest should give a nod to Munich and learn how it’s done properly:
WHEN
Oktoberfest takes place during the 16 days before the first Sunday in October on an area named the ‘Theresienwiese’ (after Ludwig’s bride). A special Oktoberfest beer is brewed for the occasion, which is somewhat darker and stronger than normal ale. Only local Munich publicans are allowed to serve this beer in so called Bierzelte (beer tents) which can host some 3000-10,000 people.
BEER TENTS
The 14 beer tents are set out on a purpose built site close to central Munich. Each one has a unique style. Entry to most is free. Tradition says that after drinking a beer in each tent you must head off to the fun fair, which takes place around the beer tents, and ride the roller coaster. Sick bag essential. Tents include:
Schottenhamel: each year Oktoberfest is opened in this tent with the official tapping of the first beer barrel and the traditional shout of ‘Ozapft is!’ (‘the barrel has been tapped’). This place gets wild with up to 10,000 revellers. Armbrustschutzen: famous for sporting events involving cross bows and roast knuckles of pork. A seating capacity of about 7000. Sells creamy Paulaner beer while a traditional band pumps out stompingly good tunes. www.armbrustschuetzenzelt.com
Hofbrauhaus: like Munich's traditional Hofbrauhaus beer hall in the city, the brewery's tent is the number one tourist attraction at Oktoberfest. The tent is decorated with hops, a brass-band plays original Bavarian music and Masskrug (one litre beer mugs) lifting competitions are held. www.hb-festzelt.de
Hackerbrau Festzelt: packed to the gills with over 9000 slugging into a few jars of Hacker-Pschorr beer and some good old rock and roll.
Hippodrom: not necessarily one of the biggest tents (it seats 4400), but exceedingly popular. A good international crowd. www.hippodrom-oktoberfest.de
Schutzen-Festhalle: a smaller tent seating around 4000 people, famous for its food and debauched Antipodeans.
Lowenbrau: notorious for sudden outbreaks of football related frenzies and knee-slapping traditional music. www.loewenbraeu-festzelt.info
Braurosl: the place to head for some yodelling action.
Augustiner-Brau: a family orientated tent seating about 10,500 people and serving succulent traditional food.
Ochsenbrateri: specialises in everything oxen. Your foamy Stein foamy stein will wash down roast oxen, fillet of oxen, oxen burger and even boiled oxen penis in ox blood soup.
Fischer-Vroni: fish dishes are the go here if you can handle seafood and beer. www.fischer-vroni.de
FOOD
In addition to tent specialties, there’s plenty of nosh going around to soak up the alcohol. Typical for Munich are ‘Weißwürste’ (white sausages). They look disgusting and taste rather bland, unless you apply the special sweet mustard that you get with it.
The more adventurous head to the Bavarian ‘Weißes Bräuhaus’ to snack on ‘Kalbskopfsülze’: calf's head. Of course there’s always plenty of sauerkraut, a finely sliced white cabbage fermented with lactobacillus bacteria.The Funfair
Hmmm… ox tongues and spicy sausages washed down by truckloads of beer, and tradition states that you have to endure the gravity-defying thrills of a rollercoaster. Hopefully your stomach can defy a few urges, too.
Most rides are seat-of-the-pants stuff but for those something a little more sedate, there’s always drink-driving at the dodgems (watch for Germans driving on the wrong side of the track).
WHAT TO WEAR
Okay, so the Germans know how to do it best, but just like Christmas, Oktoberfest now belongs to the world. All we need is the official UN okay. That could take a while though, as at last report Ban Ki-moon was caught napping on the job, in his britches, an empty case of Boags by his side.
*Beer lovers unite!!
DETAILS
• The largest Oktoberfest outside Germany is held in Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario in the week of Canadian Thanksgiving.
• Brazil and Argentina also host some of the biggest Oktoberfest celebrations outside Germany, as both nations have an unusually high number of citizens with German ancestry, mostly due to mass German immigration caused by the World Wars.
• Courtesy of a joke on The Simpsons, there now exists a parody festival called Scotchtoberfest, celebrating all things Scottish.
• In 1980, a bomb exploded at the entrance to Munich’s Oktoberfest, set off by a neo-nazi fanatic who died in the blast along with 13 others.
• During its history, Munich’s Oktoberfest has been cancelled 24 times due to war, disease and other major disturbances.
• 2007 will mark the 172th Oktoberfest.
WEB
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