Boredom isn't an option for
Olivia Hambrett
as she mooches around Athens airport.
At 4.35am, deep in the bowels of Athens airport, I felt a rush of pure, unadulterated delirium come on. It is a specific type of delirium, brought on by a stretch of seemingly endless hours spent at an Airport. In this case, it was hour 4 of a 7 hour stint. We had flown in from Rome at 11pm the previous night and our plane to Santorini was not due to leave until 6am. The airport floor was awash with weary travellers who, throwing the usual backpacker caution to the wind, were sprawled out in sleeping bags, under jackets, atop luggage, hands gripped around keys and wallets. And so, this list of Top Ten Way to Kill Time in an Airport was born -
1. Give yourself a migraine in the perfume department of duty free. Spiral into depression that you cannot afford the limited edition Guerlain series. Douse self in half the tester instead.
2. Rationalise buying two bottles of pear vodka in a buy-one-get-one-free deal, then decide against due to all too fresh memory of being hung-over.
3. Sleep on floor - try not to feel homeless/dirty, instead pass it off as homeless chic/resourceful a la Olsen Twins.
4. Stand dolefully at McDonalds entrance knowing you technically cannot buy a Big Mac because you are about to lie on the beach for a week in new swimmers, the pants of which are inexplicably and embarrassingly tiny. Curse Italy for its small swimmer bottoms.
5. Decide you actually do want that Big Mac and return to McDonalds only to find it has closed. Fight back tears.
6. Buy duty free presents for people back home. Accept the fact you will invariably eat/use these treats half an hour later.
7. Engage airport officials in conversation. Discuss the merits of bringing canned dolmades on board.
8. Return to buy the bottles of pear vodka. Later, when curled up on the floor again, take a couple of restorative shots with travel buddies.
9. Create a list of the world’s best and worst airports. Vow never to fly into the worst ones again. Know, deep in your heart, that you most certainly will. Ride the wave of denial.
10. Check your email on one of the 2 computers that actually work, and cost your first-born to use for 3 minutes. Try to ignore the queue of people looking over your shoulder and reading your facebook.
The Top 5 Best Airports to Kill Time in:
1. Athens
2. Copenhagen
3. Frankfurt
4. Prague
5. Seattle.
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